I love words.
Good thing, I suppose, given my chosen and hard-fought-for occupation. Every time I sit down at a keyboard or have a pen poised over a blank sheet of paper, I feel overwhelmed with excitement, with possibility, with anticipation. With a few key strokes or swipes of a pen, you can find the right combination of words that can make someone LOVE you.
Conversely, you can break a heart, manipulate a mind or sever an allegiance…all with those same strokes or swipes. Think about that. Legends are immortalized because of words. Nations go to war over words. Couples are united in matrimony with words. Hearts and lives are shattered due to words. The power they wield is, in a word, awesome.
“Every time I come around the corner and see your car in the driveway I get sick to my stomach.”
I sat on the couch during yet another face-off with my mother when she let fly with that condemnation, effectively shattering any sense of comfort and belonging I may have been clinging to at the time. I was 17. I’m 48 now, and I can hear those words in my ear as clear as if they were uttered 10 minutes ago. I can’t say that it was those exact words that led to the eventual, unsurprising demise of my relationship with my mother, but I know it was certainly a huge chunk out of the already crumbling foundation. It stands, to this day, as one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me.
But, as I said, words are powerful. They have healing properties. Let me give you an alternate scenario.
I was visiting a friend at what is now, TCNJ (then it was Trenton State College). My boyfriend of about a year had just broken up with me, quite unceremoniously, at a party the night before. I was feeling kind of blue, just sort of moping around the campus waiting for my friend’s class to end. While aimlessly wandering through the bookstore, I saw an old friend from high school, a guy who graduated a year ahead of me. We got to talking about life after high school and what my plans were and all of that idle small talk, when he looked me right in the eye and said, “Well Cass, the thing is, I hear you’re an excellent writer.”
What followed is not a Cinderella-like ending of fairy-tale romance (this is me we’re talking about and you know I hate that HS Musical type-shizz) between Matt Opacity (that was his name) and your Lang teacher.
We didn’t fall into each other’s arms and swear undying love—it wasn’t even a romantic moment.
He wasn’t trying out a brand-new pick-up line or even trying to soothe my bruised, dumped ego.
It was a simple declaration that I am quite sure he would never even remember saying all these years later. But it’s impact on me was and is undeniable. Because of him, when I went back home, the first place I looked for a summer job was at a local newspaper called The Sandpaper. I landed a job as a stringer and at the tender age of 18, got my first ever piece of writing published. I even got paid for it! (It was an article on Tonkinese cats—don’t laugh!) Such is the power and the beauty of words.
So, that is the focus of this week’s blog question. I would like you to think about conversations you have had, arguments in which you’ve been embroiled, moments of bliss you have experienced. They all have one thing in common—WORDS.
The Yin: What is the worst thing anyone has ever said to you? Why do you think it was the worst thing? How did it make you feel?
And for the Yang (because there always is one): What was the best compliment you have ever received?
Who said it? Why do you think was it was the best compliment?
And finally, perhaps even MOST IMPORTANTLY, reflect on the fact that you highlighted these two particular comments. What do you think your choices of what was the best and worst thing anyone could say about/to you reveal about your personality? Much to think about, I know.
Words are very powerful and a great way to express happiness and joy, but are also a way for others who know you well enough to say things they know will hurt you when they are mad. The worst thing anyone has ever called me is a liar. Although this may seem silly or insignificant to a lot of you, that is probably the worst thing anyone could call me. I hold my honesty and integrity to a high regard so when someone calls me a liar it angers and hurts me. Even though it isn’t true because I would never lie or manipulate anyone, it bothers me that someone would say that it think I am a liar or untrustworthy. I am always honest and there for friends, and they can always count on my support. I would never lie, even if the truth is something they wouldn’t want to hear, lying is always worse in my eyes. On the flip side of things, the best compliment I have ever received would probably be that I am a hard worker and determined to my goals. I work hard everyday and put my everything into every task I am given. I feel very satisfied, proud, and accomplished when someone points out all my hard work. I think it is important that once you find something or a goal you really want to stick to it, which is why I value my determination so much. My parents are the one who said this to me, and like most kids I want to make my parents proud. That is probably why this compliment means so much to me since it came from the people I respect most. I think my choices reveal that I am a very hard working and motivated person. I also value honesty and hate when people lie. My parents opinions of me are probably the ones that matter most to me. I enjoyed writing this blog post and I learned some more things about myself while writing this.
ReplyDeleteWords connect others, break apart others, excite others, sadden others, etc. Most people have a hard time saying words to my face. That makes it a little harder to think about the worst words I’ve heard before. I have words that got to me somehow and they still hurt even if it wasn’t directly from that person. It was directed towards me and a couple other girls and it was “you guys are ugly and not cool to be around, I’d be embarrassed.” As my sixth grader self who only wanted to be accepted by my classmates, I was upset that someone would say this and exclude me and the others. But on the contrary, I’ve been recognized as a person to rely on and feel needed. The best compliment I got was from a friend when I got to high school that said “you’re such a good all around friend and I appreciate you. How could someone not want to be friends with you?” Hearing this may not seem like a huge deal but it was to me. It was like an approval. It made me feel needed and wanted. It gave me such a different feeling that I have someone who cares and didn’t think I was ugly or embarrassing. Now, I know there will be people who won’t notice you at all or want to be around you. I reacted to those situations based on my current experiences then. In 6th grade, I was young and didn’t know what to do when something like that was outwardly said and put into effect for a long period of time. Later when I received that compliment I was more mature but slightly unable to feel good about the compliment because I didn’t think it was true. Both have made me accept judgement, expect the least and be grateful for the people around me that accept me.
ReplyDeleteWords are very powerful to me, especially because I am a very sensitive person. What someone says to me might make my day very good, or it might just make my day horrible. There is a lot of horrible stuff people told me or said about me. The most horrible thing that was said to me wasn’t actually directly said to me, it was said about me. My aunt from my dad’s side said that I will never become a doctor and I am pretty much a loser and I am inferior when I am compared to her kids. This hurt because she said that to my mom and I was 7 years old. It just made me hate her more and angry, especially now. I did not know what the hell she was expecting a 7-year-old, to find a cure for Cancer. One of the compliments that I have gotten was from my friend, he said that I was smart and that I need to stop doubting myself because it only makes me feel worse. My other friend, she said that I was smart and pretty and that I do not need someone to tell me that and I also need to have more confidence. These were the best compliments because they actually boosted my self-esteem and made me feel better. I think that these comments have heavily impacted my personality. What my aunt said is still making me angry till this day, I mean how screwed up can you be to compare your 18 and 20 yr old children to a seven-year-old.In addition, why would you say that about your niece? But because of that comment, I am now more determined to prove her wrong, that is probably why I am stress out 99.9% of the time, and again it made me hate her more.
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing someone said to me was “You need to change your demeanor because it makes me depressed every time I look at it”. Now this obviously doesn’t sound too bad, but it came from a person that I cared for and typically used as a rock to hold me up. Better yet, it was not said once or twice, but literally almost every day. At first, I didn’t care, but by the millionth time, I was finally done. It made me extremely angry and irritated. Anyways, the best compliment I received was that I’m hardworking. This is probably the best compliment because it makes me really proud to see that someone saw the effort I put into something. Overall this reveals that I don’t like when people spout random bs over and over and that I try to be motivated and do my work to the best of my ability (not with physics though).
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing that anyone has ever said to me is that I’ll never be successful in life. I think that this was the worst thing because I want to be successful, but if a lot of people tell me that it’s not going to happen, I lose hope. Over the years, I’ve learned to not listen to these people and do my own thing. When people use to tell me this, I use to get upset because I wanted people to support me. But, I’ve learned from this that you don’t need people to support your dreams because they’re your dreams and not their’s. You can do anything that you put your mind to, regardless of what other people think. The best compliment that I have ever received is when, my friend told me that she sees me as part of her family. This was the best compliment I’ve gotten because it reminded me that I have a lot of people that care about me. This reveals that I care a lot about my friends and that I’m a hard worker.
ReplyDeletePt1. I thought about this question long and hard. I asked my mom what her Yin and Yang was, we began to discus and reminisce about the good and bad memories of her life. With her relationship with her dad, her ex-husband, family, and fiancée. It brought me to the time where I was invited to a dinner at my Aunt Kelly’s house. It was my freshmen year. I was sitting across my sister, next to my pop-pop, sitting next to my aunt, then on the far right of me was her husband and my cousin. Half way through dinner, I get the annual holiday question asked my family members. “Do you have a boyfriend?” See I’ve always said no because I never really had a boyfriend that I felt was worthy of meeting the people I surround myself with. I just feel like it’s best for me, personally, to keep my business to myself. I’ve always told current flings that I’ve had to my mother and friends but that’s really it. So when my aunt asked me, I said no. But thankfully my good ole sister pulled an older sisterly thing and thought it was best to mention to the crowd “ don’t you talk to that boy? You know... ____” so I guess I was obligated to mention that in that time I was talking to someone but it wasn’t serious.. anyway, soon after the follow up questions such as “Oo!! How old is he?” “What sports does he do?” Etc etc.. so she then asks to see a picture of him and so I pull out my handy dandy phone and showed her. Her jaw dropped, smoke blew out of her ears, and she said “Are you kidding me?” Now I know this isn’t something that is something nasty against me but this was one of he worst things someone has ever said to me. His dark skin caused her blood to boil. I look over to her and say what? What is wrong with him? Until I look at her in the eyes and understand that she is a racist, ignorant bitch that will never be considered family. My eyes filled up with tears. My stomach was inside out. I sat at the table, with nothing but the noise of my sniffling nose and the silent discomfort everyone was feeling. I got up and ran to the bathroom. This was one of the worst things someone has ever said to me because that was who I loved, and for her to react that way, for her to feel disgusted by the way his skin color was, will forever hold a grudge in my heart. I was 15 or 16 and I will always remember that feeling. That embarrassment of having to call that women my aunt. As you said, Bunje, with a Yin...there is a Yang. As I sat at the dinner table with my eyes filled with tears, my pop pop looked at me and held my hand. He asked me “Does he like boats?” and I told him “yes, he loves them. He wants one when he is older” and he reassured me with the best thing that someone has ever told me, “ He can come on our boat whenever he likes, we can go fishing or just out on the ocean.” This was the best thing that someone has ever told me because he saw the pain I was feeling, all he wanted was to make it better. I know this isn’t a compliment but the feeling it brought, helped me so much and it brings tears to my eyes, I wish I could talk to him today to tell him how much that meant to be. In that moment of frustration and embarrassment, I couldn’t think of anything to say to her, to him, for myself, and for him. I was never taught to talk back but I wish I could go back in time and scream at my family for letting me sit there, as a young girl, for letting me feel the way I did and having her have the audacity to say something horrific as that.
ReplyDeletePt 2. I have a compliment that I received from a freshmen last year, she told me randomly that she always looks up to me, she said my humor, my encouragement and support, and my heart inspire her. This brought so much happiness because it’s insane to think, myself, who in my head is a hot mess.. can inspire other people.. it changed my life forever and I will always protect her. Ugh so this blog was pretty emotional lol. I’m hoping that if you read this and you are my classmate that you won’t feel sorrow for me, you hopefully will take my experience into consideration to help shape how you view things. So I picked these things to share and honor because that had such an affect on me. The feelings they brought are indescribable. They taught me so many things. And even though those words that came out of their mouth had no intentions of hurting or helping my emotions, they did. It wasn’t your typical compliment or your stereotypical racist comment.. it was the emotion they brought to me. And for that words will always be the worlds most powerful creation.
ReplyDeleteOk so, this blog is the only blog that made me ponder for so long because I never thought about this particular topic before. For sure, we all want to hear nice things from people every day and for some people hearing nice things from others makes their mode throughout the whole day, but not me. I'm with you that words are very strong and they maybe the main effective component of life and they are what make us feel....distinctive? With me it's very different because I don't care(and I'm not saying this because I wanna finish this blog quickly to get a grade or because I don't feel like typing). Of course people told me nice things before and I've gotten A LOT of complements from people, people that I know and people that I don't know. But the point is that I don't care, I don't care to the point that I don't even remember what the nicest thing (or the worst thing) that someone had told me before is(and not because no one had never said something nice to me before, no, I've heard a lot of nice things from people) I don't remember because I don't care AT ALL what people tell me even if it's really nice It's like thank you, I appreciate it, but I don't care (u get me?). This is why I don’t get sensitive people (I totally respect sensitive people) like why would you let someone bring your self esteem down? Why would you let someone control your mode? no matter how close or far to you someone is, you are your own power house. When someone tells me something bad I’m like, nice try bish I will knock u tf out you can’t bring my self-esteem down. I know this is a terrible and weird and a bad characteristic and I get a lot of shit for that specially from my friends. They say that I'm cold hearted (idk y man). But to be honest, I LOVE that about myself because people who care too much about what is being said to them have a lot of complications and sometimes it drives people to committing suicide, so I'm happy that this is one of my characteristics. Actually...wait...there might be someone and I hate this person so much because she always says bad things to me and ONLY bad things (most of the time). A couple of years ago I heard a quote (I can’t recall if it was a quote or if someone said it) which says, "you are your worst enemy" I think you now know who I'm talking about….Yep that person is myself (yayyyy). I always try to bring myself down but at the same time I’m able to make myself feel THE BEST and the most reckless.
ReplyDeleteIt took some thinking to come up with the absolute worst thing anyone has ever said to me, and i may not have found the absolute worst, but it definitely is in the top 3. It was either last year or the year before, and there of course had been stupid drama between my friends and I. It was the kind of thing where someone was saying things about me, but to my best friend rather than to me. I really can’t stand when people do that because I’m a very straightforward person who likes to let you know exactly how I feel about something, and I expect the same from others. So, I had finally had enough of the petty comments so I took it upon myself to talk to the person saying these things. We got into an argument, and he tried to make me seem like the bad guy for getting upset about it and making it a “big deal,” when I really just wanted to know why. It got pretty heated and he wound up saying something so awful. I don’t even remember exactly what the conversation consisted of but the one thing I do know is that he said, “You’re a crazy bitch.” Ouch. Ever get that feeling when your body turns super hot and your heart is beating so freakin loud but your ears can’t hear anything? I was so frustrated with his words that I couldn’t feel anything. When I got home I ran upstairs to my room and screamed in my pillow crying over something so simply cruel. The fact that someone could actually strut those words into a sentence and direct them at me was so overwhelming. There’s more to the story in why he said that, but it was mostly because he had a crush on what was my best friend at the moment. Sucks doesn’t it? I could care less about that part, it was just the fact that he would say those 4 words because I wanted to fix things. But what are you gonna do?
ReplyDeleteNot everything I remember people saying is bad though. Both of my parents hold the very best compliments I have ever received. First, my dad. He’s not an emotional guy, can be kind of a pain in the ass sometimes, but all in all I love him and he’s always there for me. It was a few years ago during the summer, and I had been outback while he was on the porch smoking a cigarette in his chair, with my mom standing a few feet away from him engaged in conversation but still watching me. We had a lot of animals at the time and one of them happened to be a lion head rabbit, which was the really fluffy and super soft ones. She had dug her way out of the garden, per usual, and I was inching my way towards her. I eventually gained her trust and scooped her up, covering her eyes and cradling her in order to give her a feeling of safety and protection, not knowing how high off the ground she was. I started walking towards the garden when I overheard my dad say the sweetest thing. He looked at my mom and said in such a proud and sincere voice, “Our daughter is gonna be one hell of a vet.” I’ve wanted to be a veterinarian since kindergarten, so hearing my dad say that to my mom made my heart warm and my smile so bright. It meant so much to me that he really thought that I could become my ultimate dream.
ReplyDeleteThe compliment my mom gave me was last year after I broke up with my ex. I was a mess the whole day at school and tried to pretend I was just pissed off rather than heartbroken. When I got home I told my dad what happened first and he didn’t really know what to say other than bash the guy and tell me that he was really sorry. Kind of helped but kind of didn’t. Then my mom came home. She found my upstairs in her room, curled up into a ball with puffy red eyes. She asked what was wrong and I immediately broke down stupidly crying trying to explain what happened. I probably sounded like a 6 year old trying to say words fast while talking through a shaky voice. She grabbed me and hugged me so tight and whispered to me, “If he can’t see you and all that you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.” I’ll never forget those words. My mom is my rock, my best friend, and I’m so fortunate to have her. She knows exactly what to say all of the time, and never fails to make me feel better. That whole day I was looking at myself thinking of all of my imperfections and all of my flaws, but she only saw the good in me. I admire my mom, and for her to say those words meant everything to me. From that day on, I try to always think about my self worth when I’m lacking confidence or putting myself down. I always have doubts about myself because of the hateful words people say, but at the same time some words from certain people can build me back up. Words hold so much more power than I had ever imagined, and I will forever be amazed by what they can do.
Pinpointing the worst thing someone has ever said to me has been difficult, every time I think I figure it out another one comes to mind. With that, some of the bad things that have been said to me have been insults most of the time, usually made by own family and friends. “You’re a manipulative brat,” “You’re so stupid,” “You’re so lazy,” “You’re gaining so much weight,” and last but not least, “I wish we were in the fifties so I could just slap you across the face right now.” Every comment except the last one made me feel bad about myself, made me insecure, and made me feel angry. But the last one, instilled fear in me. The moment this was said along with other comments he made during his angry tirade I became absolutely paralyzed, I was terrified. I do believe they’re all on the same level though, because the other comments helped shape the way I feel about myself today, which is not really good. They helped sculpt my insecurity and lack of confidence. The best compliments I’ve ever received have been, “You’re a really strong person,” “I’m never gonna meet anyone like you,” “You’re one of the bravest people I know.” All of which I’ve received this school year. The first one I received from a classmate, and the second one from a teammate and a friend, and the last one Bunje gave me (‘: I’m horrible at receiving compliments just because I can’t believe that people can think that about me. These compliments really mean a lot to me, and I often think about them when I’m upset. I think I chose these compliments because I value good character.
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ReplyDeleteThe worst thing that someone has ever said to me was when my mom called me last summer and told me that my grandma had just had a stroke and was in hospital. She ended up passing away, and my grandma meant a lot to me because I always spent a lot of time with her when I was younger but hadn’t really seen her a lot in recent years because of drama in my family. Now on the other hand the best thing someone has ever said to me was back during freshman year, and I was talking to my friend during track practice about “grinding all summer, to get even better at running”, and then another person on my team came up to me because he heard what I said. He then told me that “You and the word grind don’t belong in the same sentence”. For some people this would have probably been a bad thing to hear, and at first it was, but it really caused me to think about myself and my goals. I worked even harder over the summer and I was a much faster athlete the following year. It's actually pretty funny because that same person that had said that to me ended up quitting track the following year because he wanted to “focus more on soccer”, and still barely played at all in any varsity games the next soccer season, so he probably should have stuck with track. I think the choice of my best thing said to me shows that I don’t let what others say bring me down and use it to make me stronger.
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing that was ever said to me should be the fact that I was called the “n” word but unfortunately I’ve become numb to that. The worst thing that has ever been said to me would probably have to be that I was a mistake and should’ve never been born. Catholic school is one of the factors to my depression and anxiety because this one could would practically bully everyday and he would always say some messed up stuff but I feel like that statement was the worst. Nobody in their life should be told that even if they are the most evil person in this world. Everybody has a purpose. That kid also never knew what he could lead me to do after that statement. I mean it did affect me for a little while after and it kind of still affects me to this day. Coming to high school allowed me to meet many great friends though. I was recently over my friends house for a sleepover with a bunch of other friends and somebody told me how genuine of a person I was; that literally warmed my heart. I’ve always wanted to be a person that people enjoyed to be around and felt that they could talk to and that compliment proved just that. I didn’t have much of that at catholic school so to be that makes me beyond happy. I feel these comments show that I’m a person who clearly cares to much about what people think of me but also a person that longs for something they didn’t have in a friend.
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing anyone has ever said to me has been repeated only a few times by a few people as far as I'm aware. Although a small comment, the thing I hear that makes me feel the worst is also something that I tend to tell myself too. The phrase is along the lines of "you're lazy" or "you're not trying hard enough". That phrase always results in one of two possibilities. The first is that I take the comment to heart, force myself to work harder, then burn out. Only then will those people who've told me that phrase see that I really was just trying my hardest from the start. The second possibility is that I once again take the comment to heart, but I do the opposite- I actually stop trying as hard. I don't know why this happens, but I can guess that some part of me just shuts down, can't get its work done and can't talk to anyone about it. Suddenly, I will just not have the motivation I had before, and in some cases, I'm called lazy again, and the cycle continues until I finally just break down or break myself out of it. Both of those outcomes come from underlying mental issues that I would need a good hour just to explain from my perspective. The fact that more often than not the people who are telling me this are the people I am close with and the people that I strive to make proud makes everything even worse and more stressful. I hate sounding like i'm whining or trying to get people to feel bad for me, but I had to take a step back and realize that my circumstances are different than most other people's, and sometimes I can't be perfect or keep up with everything and everyone. The person who taught me to step back and evaluate my circumstances and what I have accomplished is also the same person that has said some of the nicest things to me. The person was my therapist for about a year and a half to two years, and she watched me go through so many changes in my overall mental and physical health. One of the best things I remember from her was the session I discussed my final grades of freshman year, and how I overcame the odds that were stacked against me that whole school year. It was the first time that I was able to take a step back and tell myself that I can't live up to everyone's expectations of me, and sometimes my own expectations of myself. Even though it was her job to do so, she was one of the only people who could actually listen AND understand what I was saying, and why it was so important to me personally too. She was the first one to really get through to me during my worst times so far, which was also something that the first therapist I saw couldn't even do. Everything she told me and taught me can go on the lists of the nicest things anyone has ever told me.
ReplyDeleteThe quote “Actions speak louder than words” is something I’ve lived by for such a long time. I feel as if someone can say one thing but then do something that goes totally against what they said. I’ve had certain people who I’m not relatively close with tell me somethings but I never thought twice about it because I knew they wouldn’t be in my life for long. If they didn’t know who I really was, why would I take what they said to heart? I think what really hit home was when my mom told me I began to look overweight. The person who is supposed to protect me at all cost, left me numb. As a result I began to not eat at all, I burned more calories than I was actually taking in. I became skinny, fragile and oblivious to the fact that I had an eating disorder. A few weeks later I went to the doctors. A month before I weighed 130 lbs, on that day I distinctly remember my doctor telling me “You weigh 109 lbs, good job you look great”. I became overwhelmed with sadness. My doctor looked at me straight in my sunken eyes and told me the body that didn’t even feel like was mine, was the best version of myself. It became so bad that one night I woke up at 2 in the morning so dizzy and nauseous I could barely walk. When I made my way downstairs I sat in front of my pantry and ate food that I knew would finally stay in my stomach. For once I didn’t care enough to feel guilty. I slept in front of the thing I was afraid of the most and didn’t care because I knew from that day on my mother’s word did not define who I was or that I should change myself to fit HER needs. As of today I will eat any damn thing I want and no one can tell me I’m eating too much. Obviously this period of time was horrible, but as time passed my self confidence flourished. I learned to love every little thing about myself. Which brings me onto the best compliment I’ve received EVER. Someone told me that they love talking to me because not only do I make them genuinely laugh but I make them realize what happiness really feels like. Just typing that sentence has me geekin like me Natalia Solano can put a real smile on someone’s face. That’s such a blessing to me and it’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt. If I can make people laugh and smile what more could I ask for in this world? Life is way too short to be sad and hold grudges against people, one minute that person can be right in front of you and then boom they’re gone. To anyone who feels like they need to lose weight or change their appearance to please someone DONT. In the end you’ll be asking yourself was it really worth? And I’ll tell you the answer straight up hell no. TREAT YO SELF eat that food sis you know it’s scrumptious!
ReplyDeleteSome smart dude once said, "The pen is mightier than the sword." He is completely right. The impact on people and the world words can have is crazy. Just by rearranging or saying something differently, so many things can happen. Words can be used for many different purposes. They also have many different effects on people. Some can be very negative. For example, probably the worst thing for me to hear is from my parents. It is, "I don't even care anymore." The disappointment in their voices when they say this makes me feel awful. I know they don't mean it, but when I piss them off so much by doing something that they stop even trying to fix it, it hurts. My favorite compliment to get can come from anyone and bring me joy. It is, "I'm proud of you." There's something about hearing that that makes me feel awesome. I feel like I'm the type of person who likes to make others happy or proud, so getting that compliment feels good. Words are super powerful and being able to use them for the right purpose is an important skill. The good of words definitely outweighs the bad. Personally, I believe that as a society we need to push to do good with words instead of hurt others.
ReplyDeleteThere are many things which we hear on a day to day basis that affect us both positively and negatively. Personally, it is hard to think of a specific time that someone has said something awful to me. When I was younger, I used to get made fun of for having big ears and a big nose. In the moment, I felt insecure, different, and self-conscious of my appearance. In 5th grade, I went through a common procedure known as an otoplasty, or the reduction of the cartilage behind the ear. I know what you’re thinking, “Dang, Chris. Doesn’t 5th grade seem too young for that kind of stuff?” Well, you see, insecurities have an insane amount of power over a person’s mind, so with the approval and support of my parents, the procedure was done without a second thought. Now, I see that these features define me, and my ears aren’t even that damn big anymore… As far as my nose goes, I LOVE when people point it out, because for some reason, having a big nose is so much fun to me. It has sparked so many inside jokes with my friends, and I have completely embraced it. Having said this, many of my former insecurities have become my favorite features. I have better abs than half of you, I’m naturally skinny, and I have a sexy jawline. When people compliment me on these types of things, I naturally feel happy. These types of occurrences are typically the “best” things that people say to me, but it is hard to determine since each day, someone seems to up their game and say something that just BLOWS my mind. Life is full of comments, and as cliche as it sounds, don’t listen to what other people have to say, unless you are willing to make changes and modifications for YOURSELF, and yourself ONLY. Oh also, I almost woke up during the surgery, so they had to give me extra anesthetics and strap me to the bed. All for my Dumbo-lookin ears...
ReplyDeleteWords are powerful: they can make or break friendships, help someone get a job or promotion, and so much more. When I think of a yin, I remember all of the times when I was younger, and even now, when people would call me anorexic or find another way to negatively refer to how skinny I was. Though it doesn’t make me upset now since I realized that some things should not be taken to heart, it upset me when I was younger since I knew that I didn’t have any eating disorders and was perfectly healthy. I think this was the worst since it used to make me insecure about how skinny I was, while at the same time, I was not trying to become a sumo wrestler in the future (even though there is nothing wrong with that). But as I grew older, I realized that harsh words are simply obstacles that we need to climb over. Of course, there’s always a yang: I have had people tell me that when I talk to them, it makes their day better. This compliment truly touched me since it felt good to make someone else feel better simply because of my presence or a joke that I might have said. When I contemplate the yin and yang, it makes me realize that, as the great DJ Khaled always says, they don’t want you to win. Some people make pointless comments simply to put others down, but we need to look past those comments and acknowledge the good. We need to be proud of what we have because it makes us unique.
ReplyDeleteWords can change the world. They can the world in anyway they wish too. For example the first Christians spread the word of God and now 2 billion lives follow it their teachings with countless more who followed them in the time between then and now. Words shaped me in multiple ways. The worst things for me to here is that "You're not enough". Now that can be anything whether it's strong enough, big enough, fast enough, smart enough or just overall good enough. But this phrase as two sides. On one side it is my least favorite thing to here. For example I used to be a small kid and I know I'm no behemoth now but when I was coming into freshman year I was 5 feet all and 95 pounds. That year I tried out for a travel lacrosse team and even though I played well that day I was not accepted. The coach sent me a email saying that I was good enough to play and that he liked that I was a very physical and aggressive player(even though I was small I would step in front of the biggest guy on the field and try to level him) but due to my size I would have to stay on the practice squad to prevent injury. And then at Oak I played JV when I knew I was better then some of the varsity kids but again I was 5 foot and the were 5 foot 8 inches and up. But enough of the negative, an example of the way "you're not enough" is one of the things I love to hear most is that after I was "to small" to play I spent the year between lacrosse seasons focusing and getting bigger and stronger. in that time I grew 5 inches and close to 30 pounds. I didn't try out for the travel team again cause it took up to much of my summer but I made Varsity at Oakcrest and started on attack(offense).
ReplyDeleteI don't really know if anyone has really said anything terrible to me. The only thing I can think of is my parents yelling at me for something because it makes stupid. Like if I made a stupid mistake, it would feel like I was stupid. And I don't know if there are many compliments that stand out to me; I don't get/remember many. The best thing I can think of is my girlfriend just making me feel good about myself and this matters the most to me/is the best compliment because I know she means it and it's coming from someone that matters to me too. The fact that I don't really have much to say about this blog post says that either I have a really boring life or I just brush off both mean comments because I want to avoid the negativity and the compliments because don't think too much of them and let it get to my head.
ReplyDeleteWords are very powerful and they can have different meanings. Looking back, I’m not really sure if anyone had said anything terrible to me or anything that’ll really make me crumble into pieces. I guess the closest was when my friend told me I wasn’t good enough to do a particular thing. His words about me definitely motivated me to excel in what I do. Being able to prove him wrong was the goal and to show that I can do it. That’s for the ying. Now for the yang. Recently, I have been told that I’m a gentleman and a very selfless person. This is my yang because it shows me and tells me that people actually see the good in me and they understand how I’m like as a person. To me that’s what it’s all about. Helping others around you. If I were to reflect to my ying and my yang, i believe that people will have the idea of what kind of person I am. That’s the person who’s caring and put others before themselves.
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